The Post I Thought I’d Never Get To Write
It’s an interesting thing being a blogger. While we share about our homes or crafts or decor or fashion or recipes or fitness (or whatever!) publicly on a near-daily basis, we have lives and stories that weave their way in and around the posts we share and always serve as a foundation for all we do…even if we never mention them. Each blogger shares their personal lives differently…some not at all, while others in every post…I try to land somewhere in the middle. Whenever there is big news in our life to share, I often spend hours on my runs, lying in bed, or driving in the car brainstorming ways to share the news with you all that feel authentic and true to me and our family yet entertaining and appropriate for the blog. I started brainstorming how we’d share this kind of special news so long ago, never imagining it would be years before I’d finally get to do so. And while the journey was far longer and more painful than we’d ever imagined and this post looks nothing like I thought it would all those years ago, I am over the moon to (finally!) share with you all some happy, happy news: Our family is expanding!!!
And now as I sit here to write this post…the one I’ve waited forever to write and rehearsed in my head thousands of times with thousands of variations…I don’t know what to say next! So I’ll start with the fun and easy part. We are expecting a Baby Boy on January 1st, and we ALL couldn’t be more elated! We have waited and prayed for this baby for years, and I even believed in the depths of my heart it would never happen. So I sit here and share this news with you all in joy, disbelief, wonder, relief and overwhelming gratitude.
Once upon a time I thought I would share every last detail of our 3-year journey to this baby. It was too hard for me to share (and especially talk about!) in real time…even with a majority of my friends and family. But I always thought “once and if it’s ever over,” then I will share every heart-aching moment, false hope, agonizing procedure, and feeling of despair Greg and I shared and endured together day in and day out as we journeyed to this baby. Strangely though, now that the “trying to conceive” part of our journey is over, it doesn’t feel necessary or even healthy for me to re-live it all again. And although I’m suddenly feeling coy on the details I once thought I’d shout from the rooftops, I do want to say this…
Wanting a child and not being able to have one is the most painful, heart-wrenching experience I have ever been through. Infertility is a complicated and exhausting mess of hormones and hopes, shots and skepticism, faith and frustration, companionship and confusion, doctors and despair. To do this day, I’ll never understand why it happened to us the way it did, or why our journey came to a happy end when so many others don’t. But I do know I am forever changed by it. Creating new life is truly a gift…one I will never take for granted and one I will be endlessly thankful I get to experience again.
Okay…so let me we wipe away all my tears and fill you in on some of the funner things you all might be wondering about!
How Are You Feeling?
I am almost 22 weeks in, and I am feeling pretty good! Thankfully, I didn’t experience any severe symptoms or morning sickness in the first trimester…just some exhaustion and crazy blood sugar control issues. The bigger problem for me has been the complete and utter loss of motivation and creativity. As a generally busy person who is always working on a project or at the very least futzing around the house, this was a strange and uncomfortable feeling. It was made all the worse by moving into a new house…which until very recently, I’ve had very little motivation and energy to work on (hence why moving in and new house posts are taking a bit longer than I’d like!) Thankfully, I have felt my old creative self reemerging in the last week…so I am optimistic things will pick up around here! Other than that, baby is moving and my belly is growing…making me one giddy Mama!
How Did You Tell Henry?
Henry has been asking for a baby brother for quite some time. We were never open about our journey with him, yet his asking (and praying for a baby brother at bedtime each night) certainly didn’t help the emotional intensity of it all. After everything we had been through, we wanted to be very sure all was good before we told him he’d be a big brother. When we arrived in San Diego, he came with us to my 13 week appointment. During the ultrasound, we told the Dr that if everything looked okay, to go ahead and show and tell Henry. The doctor showed Henry that there was indeed a baby in Mommy’s belly, and I don’t think he has stopped talking about it since. Seriously. He is absolutely thrilled, and seeing his pure elation has made this experience all the more incredible.
How Do You Feel About Another Boy?
Thrilled! As you can probably guess, we would have been elated with either a boy or a girl…but we have always really loved the idea of Henry having a little brother. I had a very strong sense the baby was a boy because I felt pretty much exactly as I did with Henry all those years ago (from what I can remember, at least!), so I wasn’t at all shocked when we found out. Not only am I very content being a Boy Mom, but we didn’t get rid of a single thing from Henry! It sure is nice to finally bring all the baby boy stuff back into the house!
How Many Years Will They Be Apart?
The boys will be just shy of 6 years apart. That was certainly not our intention or our “plan.” Somewhere along the way though, I had to let go of worrying about the age gap. We just knew our family didn’t feel complete and we’d take another baby whenever it came. It will certainly be an adjustment to enter back into baby-hood all these years later, but it will be nice to have Henry as a true helper!
So…Ummm…What Finally Worked?
I know as Greg and I journeyed along the path of infertility, I drank up every single “success story,” I could find…trying to find others who had similar health profiles as mine and Greg’s and were ultimately successful. And while these stories gave me hope, I also distinctly remember the stinging pain we’d feel when new things didn’t work after clinging to them with such hope and optimism. It became very clear that conceiving is a tricky, complicated, and uncertain business…and even the best doctors don’t know why some things work while others don’t. I am reluctant to say “do this, ” or “try that,” because everyone’s situation is just so different.
That said…for inquiring minds…we don’t really know what finally worked. We reached a point where were emotionally and physically drained from years of various treatments and procedures so we walked away from it all. I had started acupuncture about 6 weeks earlier (the last thing we were going to try before giving up for good), and we decided that sticking with those sessions wouldn’t hurt (Ha! Punny!). 4 weeks later, we were pregnant. Did it finally work because of the acupuncture? Or because we walked away from intense treatments? Or because it was “our time” or “God’s plan”? Who knows. Like I said…it’s a complicated and uncertain business. What I do know is that you have to trust your gut and do what feels right for the moment/phase you’re in…no matter the science, the statistics, the success stories, or your beliefs.
What Does This Mean for the Blog?
Admittedly, when we found out we were moving to San Diego (where all of my professional connections are) and knowing that Henry was heading into Kindergarten, I was preparing to revert the blog back to a hobby blog and get a full-time job. When we found out a baby was really on the way, my return-to-work plans were (happily) put on hold. All that to say, the blog isn’t going anywhere!! It will continue to be my primary form of work and income for at least the next year or so. My transition into motherhood with Henry was a bit rocky, and the blog became an important creative, social and professional outlet for me in the early years. I know I will need the same outlet this time around, so I am excited to have the opportunity to continue to work at it and grow it with baby boy in tow!
However…I will say that I don’t know what writing a blog with a newborn will be like (since I started the blog after Henry was born). Already, I’m finding a slow down in my production since I am pretty much useless after 8pm (which is when I used to do all my photo editing and writing). Having Henry in school all day, every day will certainly allow me to get ahead (hopefully!), but I appreciate your patience as we navigate this next chapter as a family!
Does This Mean We Get to Watch a Nursery Transformation?
Nurseries/kid rooms are among my favorite to work on, so you better bet I am excited to tackle another nursery (which will be the “spare bedroom” upstairs on our home tour!). I have a ton of lessons learned from Henry’s nursery and have already started to collect some ideas. I have no solid direction yet, but you better believe it will all be documented for you here!
It’s been an interesting dynamic to create, document and write about all sorts of pretty things here on the blog while we were struggling with this heavy and hard journey behind-the-scenes. I knew somehow, someday I’d address this part of our life here on the blog…but I genuinely believed I’d never get to write the “We’re Expecting a Baby” post I dreamed about all those years ago. I’m not sure any words I could type out would do our journey or current joy true justice, but I am thankful to have this outlet to at least try. I am thankful to you all for giving me the time and space to share this side of our lives and am excited to go through this next chapter with you all. For those few friends and family (you know who you are) who offered ears to listen, shoulders to cry on, and hope when I was truly hopeless, you will forever be a part of our journey and I’m beyond thankful for your companionship. And to any friends or readers who are yearning for a baby of your own, I know your pain and heartache well. You are on my heart and I will never stop praying for you.
110 Comments on “The Post I Thought I’d Never Get To Write”
Congratulations!! I’m so happy for you. 😀
Thank you so much Ellen! The outpouring of love has been so overwhelming…thanks for taking a second to leave a comment and share in our great news!
Hope you have a great rest of the weekend!
Please do not feel you have not been “creative” in the last months…its been a different type of creativity you’ve gotten to experience. Growing a child is an incredible process and it takes much out of us that most don’t realize. You are a blessing and are being blessed. So happy for your family.
This was the very first comment I read on Thursday morning after (anxiously) watching my post go live. I was terrified what the response would be, but after reading this…I knew all would be okay. I especially love the sentiment you shared about experiencing a different type of “creativity,” and I’ve been clinging to that idea this week as I continue to fight off some pretty good fatigue!
Thank you for taking the time to make my week a little better and for sharing in our joy! Hope you’re having a great Sunday!
Thank you SO much Susan! I hope you have a great rest of the weekend!
Congratulations! What great news!
Thank you so much!! It’s been such a thrill to see our readers sharing in our joy! Hope you’ve had great weekend!
That is so exciting!!! Congratulations!!!
Thank you so much Lidia!!!
Congratulations. It doesn’t seem to matter how long it takes to get them there, as long as they are healthy you will love them forever.
I’m so excited for you. Thank you for sharing such fun and exciting news. Now I’m hoping for a birthday twin. 😀
Thank you SO much Kristie! Are you a New Year’s Baby??? How fun!!! With my birthday on Christmas, I’m wondering if I’ll have a birthday twin myself…well, in addition to Jesus that is 😉
Hope you’re well – sorry I’ve been quiet on comment replies this summer, but my guess is that you now get why 🙂
Congrats! I have followed your blog for a while and never thought to comment. Today one of your statements struck me. I to had problems conceiving our second child. I have two boys that are over 5 years a part. I was upset about the gap and my image of what I wanted for my family. Years later (17 years), I have realized that Gods plan was greater then I could imagine. My sons are totally different and needed me in different ways. Our second son has some health and learning challenges that I wouldn’t have had the time, attention or patiences to handle if our sons were closer together. Do they have that crazy fun bond I imagined. No but they have a very support relationship. Now that they are 17 and 21 I see them really coming together to be there for each other that I maybe didn’t see at 5 and 10. Good luck and remember we plan and God laughs – he sees the whole story.
Thank you so much for taking the time to comment on this post and sharing a bit of your story and experiences! Yes – I believe the age gap will be a blessing in disguise. I also beleive everything works out “as it should,” but boy is it hard to trust that when you’re in the middle of it! I really appreciate your insights and am so glad to have such a kind and dedicated reader in you!
Hope you’re having a great weekend!
Congratulations ! 🙂
Thank you so much for sharing in our joy this week!!!!!
Congratulations to your family! I wish you all the best! I am expecting baby #2 any day now and I look forward to sharing these first couple years with you as a ‘real mom’. I feel so much out there has such high standards for pretty/perfect/photogenic that I get a little discouraged, but you always inspire me as realistic and doable. And don’t worry about your posting schedule, creativity etc. You are doing great!
Thank you so much for this kind sentiment. I have been down in recent months that my projects and ideas just can’t “compare” to other/bigger bloggers out there. But when I hear that readers find my projects inspiring because they ARE real and doable – that totally makes my day and reminds me why I do it!
Thanks for taking the time to make my week a little better! Happy Sunday!
Congratulations!!! This is exciting news! I am also a BoyMom and my boys were 5 almost 6 years apart. Like Susan said they are totally different and have completely different interests, etc. Like Susan my boys are not as close as I had hoped. At 24 and almost 30 they are very supportive of each other and there is absolutely NO competition between them. God is good ALL the time! Bring on baby boy 2017!
Thank you so much for this happy comment and for sharing in our joyful news! I really loved reading all the similar experiences my readers have had with a big age gap and am starting to realize it will likely be a very big blessing in the end! Thanks for sharing in our excitement and hope you’re having a great weekend!
First time commenter! I am over the moon and filled with happy tears for you. Blessings!
Thank you so much Amber! It’s been such a thrill to see my readers sharing in our excitement and joy! Thanks for taking the time to leave such a happy comment!
Congratulations!! Is it weird that I was expecting this? Don’t sweat the age gap, it is a gift in a way. My older 2 boys are 5 years apart, and it was amazing to watch how sweet and wonderful a big brother the oldest was. He too had prayed for a baby brother, and he held the faith long after we had given up. Then we had to wait another 6 years for our first daughter. She was a complete surprise, well actually they all were since we had given up in each case. But then the last 2 were only 2&1/2 and just under 3 years apart. Seeing age differences from both sides, there are benefits for both close in age and a bigger gap. One of the beauties of a bigger gap is the baby gets to be your baby, and the older one doesn’t feel displaced, so it is all just the joy of being the “big” one. You are going to love having your boys! Congratulations again!
Yes, it is weird I was expecting this too?! Yesterday I was going to check your site then I remembered, nope, Thursday is the announcement. CONGRATULATIONS! So happy for you. And, to echo other commenters, don’t worry about your posting content/frequency; your blog remains very inspiring.
Thank you so much for this Lauren! Not only do I appreciate all the sincere joy our readers have shared in response to this post…but can I say that it makes me so happy to see that you all remember what I write and look forward to coming back! This totally made my day!
Thanks for being such a loyal reader and have a great rest of the weekend!
Thank you so much for this Jennifer! I was so scared to share our story, but have been amazed at the outpouring and love for our little family and have really enjoyed hearing from readers with similar experiences. Henry is ALREADY being such an amazing big brother and the baby isn’t even out yet, lol! I just know this will be the best thing for our family!
Thanks again and Happy Sunday!
Congratulations! What a wonderful, heart filled post! I am so happy for you and your family. I will be watching your nursery posts with great interests–our family expecting our 5th grandchild in November. PS We have a (nearly)3 yr old grandson named Henry.
Thank you so much Nikki! And I can’t wait to get started on the nursery so hopefully you won’t have to wait too long 😉
Congratulations, and thank you for sharing!! Blessings to your family!!
Thank you so much for sharing in our joy and excitement, Lisa!
I’ve followed your blog for a couple of years now (it’s one of my absolute favorites!), and your post today prompted me to comment for the first time. Congratulations! So glad to hear of your new blessing! Thanks for being so authentic in all your posts – I find your blog inspirational, not intimidating, which makes it a joy to read and a mainstay in my Feedly. 🙂
Thank you for leaving such a kind and thoughtful comment, Charity! The more personal posts are certainly the hardest to write, but bring me so much closer to my readers. Comments like yours’ remind me to be true to myself and what feels right for my blog and not try to compete with the bigger/better sites out there…even when I am scare or nervous to share something. Thank you for taking the time to make my week a little brighter through your kind words!
I can’t tell you how happy I was to see this post!! Warm and heartfelt congratulations to you, Greg, and Henry!! I still think about you and my time on Cooper Street often, and fondly (despite the crazy journey life has taken me on since). I’m glad to know that your path is leading to more blessings. All the best- xxox- Sarah
Thank you so much for taking the time to leave such a kind comment over on the blog – and we certainly LOVE hearing from our old friends. I see you pop up in my Instagram every now and then. I can tell life for you has changed quite a bit since we were neighbors. I genuinely hope you are happy and doing well – pretty please stay in touch!
Congratulations! The blog world is a “real” world and we love to know that our blog friends are happy! I wish you all the best, to the 3 – no – 4 of you. Thank you for sharing with us such happy news!
The blog world IS a real world!!!! And the love my little family has received from this post has been truly amazing. Thank you for sharing in our joy!
I am so happy for you! We had issues becoming pregnant the first time, over 40 years ago. Then, it was feasting: we had 3 little girls in 4 years!! (and one miscarriage) Five years later, here comes #4, a boy. Life is funny and the one thing I know for sure: FAMILY PLANNING IS AN OXYMORON. Know that many are praying and sending love and good wishes your way.
PS My younger sister and I are 5+ years apart, and we are very close now as adults.
Ha! I LOVE that “FAMILY PLANNING IS AN OXYMORON” – I feel like Greg and I have said something similar SO much over the past few years. Thank you for taking the time to share a bit of your story too – it’s always so comforting to hear others’ experiences!
Congratulations!!! I knew this post would be coming soon, I’m soo happy for you and your family!
Thank you SO much Madison!!! I hope you are doing well!!!
Megan (and Henry too 😉
I truly enjoy reading your posts, no matter what the content. But today’s post is just a beautiful thing. Thank you for sharing it and lots and lots of luck as you start this wonderful new chapter in your life.
Thank you so much Jenni! It’s been such a thrill to see our readers sharing in our long-awaited joy! Thank you for taking the time to leave such a nice comment and being such a loyal reader!
Hope you are having a great weekend!
Congratulations to you and your family!! I look forward to reading more about the upcoming changes to your family and home. Best wishes!
Thank you so much, Kandice! Fun things are certainly coming to our family and our home and I am so glad to have you along for the ride!
Congrats! Don’t worry about the age gap. My boys are 5 1/2 years apart and have been the best of friends until just recently when the oldest has become a full fledged teenager about to turn 14. I know they will be close once again when they are both older. I actually have preferred the big age gap. I hope you love watching your boys together as much as I have!
Thank you so much for sharing your experience in response to our post! I know this will be good for our family, and it’s nice to hear other families who have experienced a similar age gap! My next sister and I are actually 11 years apart (eeek!) and are super close now…so I know anything is possible!
Hope you’re having a great weekend!
Congratulations!! This is such exciting news!!
Thank you so much, Stacey! Hope you’re doing well and having a great weekend!
Hi Megan or today let me write dear Megan I’m so happy for you and your family
I went through really hard times to get a second daughter too as we lost twice a baby during the 2nd month of pregancy but we managed
It’s so good you seem to be well as I was so sick all day long during 2 months so enjoy and forgive me to speak so much about me but it makes me so happy for you and don’t worry our daughters have 5 years and a little more and they pkayed so much together and were and are so close
Have a nice time
Thank you so much for sharing in our happy news for sharing a bit about your family and struggles. I had no idea so many of my readers would be able to relate and it’s been such a comfort! We are quite excited about this next chapter for our family!
Hope you are doing well!
Congratulations!!!!!! That is such exciting news. We have an 8 year gap between our twins (numbers 2&3) and our youngest, and 10 years from our oldest to youngest. Those can be very tough years trying to conceive. I too didn’t want that type of age separation, but I wouldn’t change it for anything now. Our “baby” is now 2 and head brought more joy to our lives than I ever imagined. You will enjoy the age difference, I’m sure of it. Again, congratulations!!!
To think I was so scared to share this journey with my readers – in return I have received nothing but amazing love and support! I especially love hearing from those of you with similar journeys…and I know you are right. This age gap will be a blessing. We ALL can’t wait for little man to get here – we all just love him so already!
Thanks again for leaving such a kind comment, and hope you’re having a great weekend!
What a tough way to develop the gift of empathy. It’s a beautiful trait to have, but tragically only comes with aches of walking in trenches. And how cool to have a platform to use your new gift; I bet many women will feel blessed by your story.
All that aside, CONGRATULATIONS! I’m thrilled for you, Henry and Greg! Your vision for your family might not be what you dreamed up, but it will be a dream!
Thank you for this incredibly kind comment. I was so scared and nervous to publish this post, but the outpouring of love from my readers has been incredible…and to see so many readers experience similar things is so comforting. Thank you for sharing in our joy and making this time even more special for us!
I am so over-the-moon thrilled for you! Thank you for sharing such an important piece of your life with us and I cannot wait to see what you have in store for the future blog posts! Guess I’ll start shopping for that “Made in Kansas” onesie, eh? 🙂
This comment literally made me LOL and I even sent it directly to my husband to read, ha!!! Thank you for sharing in our joy this week and bringing such a genuine smile to my face. Hope you’re having in there with the crazy KS weather we’ve been seeing on the news – we do miss KS, but not those storms!!!!
Dear Megan, congratulations! I know exactly how you feel, i was in the same situation. I’m reading your blog for a while now and i like it, that you tell something personal from time to time. Please excuse my english, it’s not my motherlanguage 🙂 Greets from Switzerland, Lena
Thank you so much for taking the time to leave a comment and sharing in our joy! The love from my readers has been so incredible, so thank you for taking the time to make our week a little more special!
So excited for you and your family! God’s time is always the right time. Don’t worry about the age gap. It sounds like Henry has wanted this baby just as much as you and Greg. Everything will fall into place just as God has planned. My brother and I are almost 6 years apart and grew up military brats. That made us rely on each other and develop a special bond. I’m certain your boys will have that too. Military kids are the best!
I love your blog and will continue to be a loyal reader. Your post inspire me even when projects don’t turn out like I expected. You help me understand that it’s ok and to keep trying. Keep up the great work.
Thank you for leaving such a kind comment! Yes – I do believe this is all working out as it “should,” but it sure can be hard to keep the faith in the middle of the journey!
Thank you so much for being such a loyal reader – it thrills me to know I am inspiring people out there…and don’t you worry about those failed projects…I have more than I’d like to admit 😉
Congratulations, Megan, Greg and Henry! What a wonderful blessing – anticipating a new member of the family. All in God’s time – when He felt you were ready for the next step.
I love your blog, and look forward to each post, wondering “what will she create next”. Take care of yourself and your family.
Thank you so much Laurie! Yes – we are learning that all is working out “as it should,” but it sure can be hard to trust that when the journey gets tough.
Thank you for taking the time to leave such a kind comment this week and share with us in our joy! It’s been such a thrill to see how many readers love and look forward to what I share next whether it’s a project or personal…hearing from you guys is what keeps me going!
Have a great rest of the weekend!